PSA: Protect Your F*cking Sparkle

Don't let the energy vampires steal your light.

Girls. Boys. Everyone in-between.

It’s me. Your lesbian big sister and now—life coach.

I’m here to deliver the most important message I’ve EVER delivered to you.

Here goes: Protect. Your. F*cking. Sparkle.

And what I mean by all garble is this: Stop doing shit that dulls out your glorious, ever-shining light, babe. For you’re a person that burns brighter than all the lights on the Sunset strip. You’re a person who glitters more intensely than the disco ball at ~the famed~ nightlife institution, Studio 54. You goddamn gleam like the décolletage of a freshly-exfoliated actress on Oscar night.

You’re the shimmery star that lights up the smoggy Los Angeles sky. You’re the neon McDonald’s sign that reminds us that human civilization does, indeed, exist when we’re driving through the Mojave desert and starting to fear we’re slipping away from the land of the living and spiraling down down the doomed underworld of the dead.

You’re the orange-gold cigarette cherry whose soft glow warmed up all those cold, lonely, suburban nights when we were displaced teenagers.

You’re that first twinkle in the vacant eyes of the clinically depressed when the Prozac (finally) kicks in. A Swarovski crystal in the sun. The ethereal moonbeam that reminds us that shit isn’t so bad—life goes on—beauty still exists in the world—that there is still so much out there we have yet to see. The best and the worst thing about being a person who burns as brightly as you is this: People are magnetized to the heat that radiates out of you. Why wouldn’t they be? It’s so hot. It’s so sexy. It makes us ALL feel orgasmically alive.

But here's the truth: Not everyone is worthy of being privy to your precious sparkle, my darling. And there are energy vampires dressed up like charismatic angels all over this town. This city. This world. They’ll tell you everything you’ve ever wanted to hear. They’ll validate all your fears. Your gut will tell you something’s off, but your head will quickly assure you that you must be smart. That you must trust them. After all:

“They said they can score you the dream job.”

“They said no one will ever love you like they do.”

“They said they’ll keep you safe from the fire burning inside of you.”

The head is a very convincing woman. She’s sensible. She sports a no-nonsense bob haircut and wears comfortable ballet flats to work. Also. She has a much more expansive vocabulary than that gut of yours. Your gut is the most wise mystic on the planet but she just doesn’t have the sophisticated language of your intellect, you see. Her messages live in the body, she gives you physical cues as guidance. And you can ignore the physical if you try hard enough. You can numb the frenetic pitter-patter of your heart and the deep ache in your lower belly—so long as you pop the right pills and slug back enough Sauvignon Blanc and blur what's left of your identity in someone else’s flesh. Bury yourself in a body that isn’t yours—and you never have to feel the tremble in your own hands ever again.

And when you numb your body—by which I mean your gut—by which I mean your intuition—by which I mean your feelings—that’s when your sparkle *really* starts to dim. To listen to your intuition is to allow yourself to feel the burn of emotions. And you can’t sparkle like the moon without feeling your feelings. If you keep slapping filters over your visceral truths, pretty soon you’ll be rendered flat and matte. And once you’re flat and matte that which sucked you of your spirit will walk away. Because you see, they got what they needed. They got their sparkle fix. They bled you dry. They fed off *your* golden supply.

And now they will leave you lifeless on the floor as they search for the next glitter girl with a heart they can strip of its gold.

Because people who don’t have any light inside of them are desperate to have what you have.

But what you have is NOT theirs to take.

Which is why you must protect your f*cking sparkle.

Do the things that *add* to your sparkle. That pour gasoline over the flame. When you’re sparkling and burning you can always feel it. When you’re light is being snuffed out, you can always feel that too.

This entire Fall I’m going to be focusing on ways for all of us in this precious community to protect our sparkle.

We’re going to talk about the little things that render us dull and the big things that rob us of our shimmer-glimmer-gleam-dream. We’re going to talk about the people we should avoid and the people we need to prioritize. We’re going to talk about the productive pain that helps us grow and the preventable pain that keeps us stuck in place.

We’re going to talk about the pills that help us cope and the pills that snatch the souls right out of our skulls! Because the sole reason I created this platform is because I am tired of seeing the most incredible, majestic, creative, radiant human beings get shoved into the backseat of the car. I’m sick of watching mediocrity take the wheel.

I’m sick of people dumbing down the beauty of the unique. I’m sick of seeing the special people overmedicated, shackled by shame, silenced, locked away in the attic. Locked away in the mental ward. Locked in a job that doesn’t value their mind-blowing talents. Locked in jail. Locked in prison. Locked inside of a life that doesn’t serve them.

We live in a culture that fears anything that is too big to shove into a box. We live in a culture that dismisses nuance. That vehemently fears shades of gray and worships good and bad, right and wrong, ugly and pretty. They fear the glorious in-between because they don’t understand it.

But we don’t have to cater to a world that doesn’t get us. Screw that. Let’s collectively kick mediocrity out of the car and start driving toward the places that align with who we are. Can you imagine how magical our final destination could be if we decided to take charge of our destiny?

Can you imagine how much we could light up the world if we truly let ourselves glow? If we owned our sparkle and surrounded ourselves with sparkle and protected our f*cking sparkle?

If you're looking to get your sparkle back or just add sequins to the glitter—feel free to book a life-coaching session with me! You don't have to take the leap alone.

My debut book GIRL, STOP PASSING OUT IN YOUR MAKEUP: THE BAD GIRL’S GUIDE TO GETTING YOUR SH*T TOGETHER is available NOW on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, IndieBound, and BAM! If you send me a screenshot of your preorder, I’ll send you swag!